The Christ of Burnt Men

(written soon after a particularly difficult breakup with a woman I had been dating)

My spirit has been scorched by the flame of love.
Yesterday I cried out with hope, “Oh, embrace me sweet affection!
Let us move forward together
As one.”

The reply came swiftly:
Rejection
Scorn
Betrayal

And so today I kneel dejected before You Lord
I have felt the kiss of the crucified Christ
Full of the love that binds our hearts together
Yet broken by a world of sin and sorrow.
My grief is great!

What do You want from me Lord?
Can I not obey Your call with another by my side?
To share the burden of life’s walk
To love eternally.

There is insight here too, Lord
This morning I saw Your cross as if for the first time
I felt Your wounds, as they are mine
I felt the sword pierce Your flesh, as it has pierced my own
You are the Christ of burnt men
A Christ for me, especially me - charred, broken, wrecked.

Tread softly with my sorrow Lord
Be kind with my wounded spirit
I will go on to listen to Your solitary song
And I will pine for my love.

Call Us Beloved

Lord Jesus
In silence You call us.
We sense Your whisper
As we close our eyes.
Then we wait…

But there,
When we finally catch a glimpse of You
We recognize You.
You live in the eyes of our neighbor,
In the hearts of the poor,
In the humility of the sick.

You have waited for us to open the pearl of compassion.

Here we find You
We rejoice in the communion
But then…
You withdraw.

Yet as we lament Your absence
You already hold us.
You cradle our frail bodies and nurture us.
And from the silence
You transform us.

We can no longer walk alone
For we realize that we are truly one people.
We have searched for You
And from within the silence
We have found You
Shrouded in the poverty of each others brokenness
wrapped in human frailty
Nailed to a cross
Yet clothed in love.

You reign within us
And shine with a perfect light.
A light that cannot be extinguished and a light that holds the promise of our
Future in Your arms
Forever!

You are here today among us Lord.
You occupy a space in my own heart and also in the heart of the person Sitting next to me.
You call each one of us by name.

We all shine like the sun!

Come quickly Lord Jesus
Speak our names in the heavens
And call us beloved!

Lord, Heal Me

Lord,
Why do we all suffer so?
Why do our wounded hearts remain so desolate a place?
Is it to desire You more?
Can human flesh fill the void that we all carry as a sore?
Can anything we do heal so vast an emptiness?
Not without You Lord.

Lord,
Will You then teach us the manner of true healing?
Will You show us how our pain brings You near?
How we can touch Your divine light from within our weakness.
How in our agony You are most present and most vocal.

Lord,
At times we see Your plan.
We see how we need our hurt to feel Your presence.
But that is just the beginning isn’t it?
Our pain has no value without transformation.
And so we need You to teach us to transform our hearts,
To justify our wounds,
And make us whole.

Lord,
I come to you as a person humbled in my own weakness.
I sit at the brink of despair yet before the edge.
I feel alone in the world and in my heart,
Yet not in my soul.
Am I at last ready for Your healing hand?
Will You finally call my name and touch my tears?
Or must I wait?

Lord,
Heal me,
Transform the emptiness that fills my wounded heart.
Chase away my pain Lord,
And fill me with Your love

Amen

The Beauty of Your Face

I am touched by the warmth of a sunbeam.
In it I feel the echo of Your eternal caress.
Lord, I feel You.

I hear a bird singing Your song of hope.
His sweet melody carries promises of Your Glory.
Lord, I hear You.

Yes Lord, you are here with me.
You live in my heart.
You experience my joy when I laugh,
And You cry my tears when I am sad.
But You never leave me Lord,
And I know that.

What darkness then seeks to cover my soul
As the deepest point of my person cries out to be held?
This desire must be for You Lord,
As I crave the sweet succor of Your presence.
You and eternal life,
Living and breathing from my soul outward.
Waiting for the day that we will be united in Glory.
Come quickly Lord!

How could I have questioned Your promises to me?
What arrogance I possess!
To think me above Your love,
And above the sacrifices You have made on my behalf.
Lord, please forgive me in my unbelief.

My urgent cries for your attention are always heard.
Yes, I feel You even while I lament your absence.
Your love has no bounds,
And Your grace is a mystery
That I can comprehend only as You breathe through my prayers.

Help me to focus all of my energy on advancing toward Your kingdom Lord.
Help me to share the beauty that I see.
The beauty that is You.
So that as I look into the eyes of my brother,
I see not a face from this world
But I see the beauty of Your face smiling back at me.

Amen

Lord, Teach Me to Pray

Lord,
I am constantly reminded of my own weakness
As I sense the weakness of my brother.
I feel great pains of loneliness
As I try to relate to the solitary lives we all must lead.
There is hope only in finding You Lord.
Only Your comfort can bring us back from despair.
Speak in me Your prayer of love Lord,
And take away my pain.

Lord,
I often feel alone and desperate when I imagine You are absent.
When I consider how my life might be without You reigning within me I shudder.
How could others reject You Lord?
How could any of us reject Your call?
Such love and promise You offer.
For the free gift of grace,
All we need do is consent to Your love and welcome You.
Loud claims of our goodness will not cause You to answer,
But only from our silence in humility will You speak our name and call us beloved.
Speak in me Your prayer of grace Lord,
And share my path.

Lord,
I consent to Your arrival.
I know that when You breathe in me, all people are enriched.
When You share my pain, all of nature is blessed.
Truly we are all one people, searching for and finding You from within our suffering.
Pain and grace coexist,
Lifting our souls toward Your love.
Speak in me Your prayer of community Lord,
And bind us all by Your love.

Lord
Teach me to pray.
Help me learn to live a life where my actions and Your will are the same.
Teach me to hold on to the secrets I hear You whisper even now.
Fill my soul with Your sweetness I pray,
Pull me into the gap that holds eternity.
And bring me home.

Amen

Lord, I am Broken

Lord,
I am broken,
And have been torn from all that stands in the way of Your will.
I want only You now.

My soul hungers for release,
It cries to be heard.
But what am I hearing it say?
Is it Your direction? Is it Your voice?
Or is it my own?
Where is my attention to the Truth?

I sense Your voice,
But I cannot hear You.
I feel You are close,
But I cannot Touch You.
Please speak loudly Lord; Your whisper may not do this time!

Have I not lived toward this gap?
Have I not suffered Your hand of direction?
Yes, and I remain open to it!
So please speak to me Lord… please… and tell me Your secrets.
Whisper if You must, but also let me feel Your hand that I may know You are here beside me, guiding me and protecting my path.
Do I have the strength to go on without this?

My only solution has always been to acquiesce and remain ready.
I accept this now and move toward my future.
Make me whole again in You, Lord.

I offer myself wholly and completely for Your will alone.

Use me for your glory.

Amen